Drama, drama, drama. You’re having the same argument for the third time this week (and the past 12 weeks), and you can’t seem to get past it. Maybe you’ve quit a third job in 6 months because you cannot seem to get along with your boss or coworkers.
If you keep finding yourself in these “dramatic” situations, I invite you now to pause, and consider…. Is this a pattern for you? Do you feel as though you’re working through one catastrophe after another? Now I’m going to ask you to reflect on a tough question. What if there is a part of you that thrives in the drama and chaos?
Perhaps being in crisis was the only way that you could get some connection with people. But perhaps living in the drama isn’t working for you anymore.
None of us want to think that we are contributing to drama. In our culture today, lots of folks work hard to cultivate a persona of “calm, centered, balanced, and drama free”. But, does that always happen?
In order to turn down some shame around this, it’s important to know some context of why folks likely are addicted to drama, because it is incredibly common. Some research suggests that folks who frequently engage in drama have endured some kind of emotional trauma/neglect. Through this lens, it makes sense why some people use drama; likely, this is how they got a need met at some point in their life.
If, however, you’re growing tired of finding yourself smack dab in the middle of more drama, you may be learning that this strategy, of using drama to feel seen, is not necessarily serving you any longer.
Perhaps now you crave true intimacy and relationships that are grounded in communication and thoughtful interactions, rather than argument after argument. Drama perpetuates disconnection, not only from others but also from yourself and your authentic experience.
Perhaps you use drama as a way to avoid your own issues, to avoid reflecting inward and taking ownership of some part of your life that you’re unhappy with.
So, if you’re at that point, and you’re willing to loosen your grip and your relationship with drama, here are some tips on reality checking and pulling yourself out of the situation.
First, ask yourself and get really clear on if this situation involves you whatsoever. If it doesn’t, remove yourself.
Second, unhook from outlets that let you engage in drama. Whether that’s social media or a news source, unhook, unsubscribe, and give yourself a break from flooding yourself with that information.
Finally, the best way, I believe, to let go of drama is to do some soul searching/ understanding on what need you are trying to meet by engaging in this drama.
Are you looking for validation? Attention? Whatever it is, this part of you is likely trying to help. Get to know that part and get to know how you can work with it to get needs met in a different way. Meditate, journal it out, or come to therapy so you can be free from drama and re-engage with your life in a healthy way.
A.V.O.S. Counseling 